Is this thing on?

Well its been quite some time since I have posted anything on here, I think much of 2010 was spent hiding away from life and letting others into mine. It was bad year all because of one day. April 11th my mom passed away after a 16 year fight with cancer. The fight was compounded by many problems, but the ultimate counter punch was a heart attack that happened due to a massive loss of blood.

Nine months have past and it still hurts to talk about, but it’s something that needs to be talked about to heal correctly I have been told. I’ve spent this last year dealing with the pain of loosing my mother, knowing she wanted things for me to better than what they are, and for myself to be greater than what I am. This is not to say my mom wasn’t proud of me she was and very. The things she wanted me to changes where things she knew I wanted to change about myself.

Some things are just very hard to change, your health / weight and relationship status are both hard for me and for many others.

This year I am working on me. Not my computer, or laptop or stereo or other gadget. This year I am going to be the gadget. I have to learn to manipulate me like I would hardware or software to speed up a computer. Or changing the port tuning on a sub to get the most out of it.

Mind you at this point I’m a newb, but we all have to start some place.

First stop I think I need to make is how to control my emotional attachment to food and how it plays out in my daily life. To much of my life rotates around it, when it should be rotating around things that make live valuable. How do I do that? Not sure yet but I think it has to do taking the importance of food away and replacing that moment of wondering what I am going to eat today and filling it with what am I going to do today to move me in the right direction.

If anyone has any ideas, comments, or tech tools that might help.. I’m open to ideas.

As far as women go… I don’t have a clue

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